December is the Summer of Love

2 people have already gone and gotten themselves engaged this month! I am very excited for them both- Steph fulfills the mandate of new graduates in DSC north- engaged! And Lydia is stepping in time with rhythm to be married a month after me!!

We spent some of December at the beach getting a beautiful tan! Dennis is bent on building up his muscles, and I am trying to catch up by losing some weight.. Obviously, he is winning...

Also, my Birthday at Noel Cafe in Fremantle with my parents. We had the most awesome food and then went to watch Libby Hammer sing at the Fremantle arts centre.

As Ris Low says: BEE GEE NEE!!!!!

Happy New Year everyone!

November

It's november and much has happened. We have filed our notice of marriage and in the times when I was the most tired, he was a great support to me. I think we have grown closer and some of our sharp edges are not as painful to each other anymore. This month makes it a year to go till we marry n I like where we are. I have truly never met anyone as sacrificially loving as he is. I thank my Lord for this day and for my man.

City to Surf

Today, I ran the 4 km city to surf. Dennis drove me there and also waited for me at the finish! :) He was really supportive. When we got home, we were so tired we just slept! And then got up to make pottery. He made a mug today and I made a bowl with a lid to hold garlic. I hope they turn out well!

Will we get old and one day just lose our colour, feelings, sentimentality, thoughts, heartbeat and zeal for life?

I hope that never is your answer!

pottery wheel

We have rented a pottery wheel! I am very happy about it. hahaha.

Well, I think the idea is to become good at it now.

We also cooked this morning. I cooked sambal brinjal and he cooked pork patties for his own lunches. I also cooked soba and tempura for lunch this afternoon. It has been a normal saturday full of cooking and I like the way it has been. I feel clever and he feels bright.

Quick, ask us where we work!

It has been fairly amusing to work in the same company for about a month now.

Internal mail is fairly efficient.

Today, I walked over to his office and said, "Lunch?"

His boss looked flabberghasted, as if i was an over-friendly, socially challenged asian girl.

Dennis said, "Thats my fiancee".

I gave up my hotdesk to Rosie and worked in Dennis' office for part of the afternoon. It's not really fun to work with Dennis, because we can't talk about anything work related (no common ground). But it was nice since we left at 3 and got to go out somewhere special!

We went to get 3 cakes at applecross from cakes delight- matcha, mocha and pear william. Funny how if u say matcha then mocha, the mocha comes out wrong. It was delightful. We sat in Cafe Noel with the cakes and a chocolate mint smoothie and green tea frappe and ate our cakes. Then we drove to murdoch to pick up Dennis' car and drop mine off- he will send me back there later and it won't be such a long drive home for him.

The worst compliment Dennis has paid me so far is, "If I was an employer, I would definitely employ you." Also goes along with things like, "If I was a traffic light, i would turn green for you."

Rave reviews for my ravishing fiancee

From the boy to the girl, over the company email:

"Today’s lunch is perfect 10/10. My lunch was fabulous.

The salted bean pork was tender with a little spice.
Every bite had the natural sweetness of well cooked pork with the flavour of ginger infused into it.
The strong taste of the salted bean complimented the plain rice well.

The brinjal had a good amount of crunch without being tough.
It was soft and springy without being rubbery.
My mouth exploded with garlic, salted fish and chilli spice. (I think it was salted fish)
It was less salty than the pork which is perfect.

A spoonful of rice, brinjal and pork had a complimentary mix of flavours.
A bit of ginger, garlic, pork, brinjal, salted bean, spice and just some rice to fill it up.

You are THE bestest cook ever."

intimacy in this jumble

So much of her life is in mine.

I love it that the lunch i eat is cooked by you.
I love knowing that my dustbin always has your used tissues in it.
I love sitting on the drum throne you bought for me to practice.
I love knowing that you took a nap on my bed when i go to sleep.
I love reading my bible and flipping the page with the bookmark you made for me.
I love seeing your name show up on my phone, in the mail, in msn.
I love taking out my cloth wallet because you sewed it.
I love seeing pictures of you whenever i come into the room.
I love how everything is intertwined.

Things are such a tangle with knots everywhere.
I love our wedding rings that sit on my table.
Next year, we're getting married and I can't wait.
It will be messy and jumbled with everything that is life.
and the more anyone pulls, the tighter it gets.

and I love it. =)

I love being tangled up with you.

P.S. I don't like the chocolate stain on my car seat. =)

Longans and Curry

Heaty.

I went to Bull Creek today to buy things for us. When I say us, I mean.. us. It makes me proud. On Sunday, we went to buy soy sauce, fish sauce, oyster sauce, sesame oil, oil and other seasonings. They are for me to use on weekends when I cook the huge amounts of food for Dennis' weekly meals that he eats at work and at night. Today, I went to red dot to buy a blue plastic box ($12.99) to put it all in. Two weeks ago, he got oyster sauce chicken and 4 cups of fried rice. This week, he got salted fish brinjal and salted bean pork. They all turned out so yummy!

We exercised on the cross-trainer, which I hated. Then we had dinner, which was curry, longans, zucchini and pork soup. Dennis put me to bed as usual and we talked. It is really nice to talk when he is thinking about things. Today was a milestone of gross things- he used my finger to dig his nose!!!

Happy Place

"I'm in my happy place now... ... Don't disturb me."- Dennis

I was in my happy place, and I felt like I was moving forward with life but the last week has been a recollection of the past and a morose consideration of grave futuristic projections.

Nevertheless, we savour the beauty in the small providences provided to us. God help us to love.

Dennis has always loved Ramly burgers. He has a sweet and whimsical side that doesn't come out often. I love him just the way he is.

He says he doesn't know how to act around kids.. But I know he will be much better than he thinks.

His own recent bout of doubt has raised questions in myself. I don't doubt who he is, and what he will do when push comes to shove. But I am a woman, and women want to be singular, not plural. I am starting not to appreciate some of the others in my species. I wonder. I wonder. I wonder how much of what you have said to her that you now say to me, is real? I know you might not be able to show me, but please try when you can. I wish I was your first and last. (being the last is still better than being the first though..)

Faithful God

And so, in the year 2009, God gave Dennis a job (see existentialthe.blogspot.com in July). Dennis and Sara are excited! They are currently playing upwords and Sara is winning by 6 points.

Tell Me Dear (TMD)

Sometimes, I get the feeling that I don't know what I want him to say, but know it's there somewhere, inside of him. So i say to him, "tell me, dear." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Mehh.

It was nice of him to come over today when it was so blustery. We spent the day making Yu Sang (I think I smell like preserves), and we watched a little bit of GetBackers. It is so nice to take a Monday off, but then again, not all off days can be special. Some off days are simply.. days. I think today was very much like that. But it's ok, I was happy he came to see me and that we could spend time together. There's something special about him, just being with him, and doing nothing special at all.

I felt like I looked for something today, and that I didn't find it. We get tired, and I think giving and getting too much attention is not easy.

waterfalls

Don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to.

Moving to the groove of good old TLC while the world tributes Michael Jackson's strange genius, poor dear man. It was the day after he died that I finally began to deal with the porous aftermath of my own household. It was great to have such a supportive man beside me, and for us to watch the world go by, turning, mourning, crying, talking, whirling.. while we stood still and he held me and we remembered together the God who made us, and the God who would see us through.

I woke early to go to his house for breakfast- he had promised a very coveted meal of fish-fillets sandwiched in bread. When I got to his house, he had just brushed his teeth, and somewhere between his lips and my neck, we melted, melded. What is home, and where? Two similar questions with not much of an answer. Looking at the mass of Neverland, it seems like Michael Jackson didn't find out either, so we were probably relieved that his passing didn't affect our personal pursuit of such an answer.

The day of indulgent luxury continued with a late lunch at Everyday Sunday (sushi, udon, Karaage, pokka coffee/pearl milk tea, honey puff pastry, egg tart!), and a long walk in the harbour town shops. No bargains spotted, much to our relief. So we made the walk down the usual william street and bought a sumptious but much less naughty tomyum soup dinner. Dennis was dressed up in his best black and cologne with gel in his hair, and I wore my purple dress. I am pleased today that I fit into the beautiful striped top Cheryl teo gave to me. I feel good, even if we ate fatty things today. Not to mention we spent $8 on 1/2 an hour of arcadium!! DDR was so nice! Dennis really tried to cheer me up today.. he knows that I had been feeling quite squashed and today's splurging didn't add up to as much as I suspected! So we had a very good time indeed today, and I even thought of ANOTHER name for our child! Anna-Leah Tng. Or Annalea or Annaleia. Heheheh. I like it!!!

I feel terribly human to accept his love sometimes, because I feel I should be entitled to much less than what I get. Deep down inside, we both stare at this gash in my body and wonder when it will heal. And sometimes, he reaches out to hold me and I cry, because it is like when someone tries to wash a cut you have. But God's timing and decisions are precise and momentous.. I thank Him so much for Dennis.

Sometimes I wonder whether Michael Jackson ever felt that way about Lisa-marie, and whether their love was ever quiet, or peaceful. I wonder whether he was happy in his neverland, which ended up to be well, never. I think perhaps the world is shocked because they have wronged someone and shunned him, then not had the chance to say sorry because they were waiting for him to redeem himself. Thank God he doesn't do that to us.

10 June 09- Was 25

On the 9th of June, I drove to her place and she was standing outside with Balloons for me! And I got a card and conversation starters and she's the sweetest thing on earth. And the balloons floated for more than a week (at least 10 days). And we had durian birthday cake. She's so thoughtful. And then on the 10th, we went to red rooster for my birthday dinner, and she gave me a big hug. And that was the best birthday present, a big hug from Baby. She also bought me a drum throne!!! (Mega Music, $139) My baby loves me so much. And I love my baby. I feel good being 26.

Free ah

She struts out of the shop and tries to be sneaky.

Then I say, "You think what? Free ah?"

Then She says, "If i knew that it was free, I would have come back for more!"

A minute later she realises what she just did and burst out laughing.

Thats my girl alright.

Names

Boy: Thaddeus.
Girl: Ophelia.
Bear: Teddy.

Wedding verse

(The Message)Song of Songs

The Woman

 ^6-8 Hang my locket around your neck, 
   wear my ring on your finger.
Love is invincible facing danger and death. 
   Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.
The fire of love stops at nothing— 
   it sweeps everything before it.
Flood waters can't drown love, 
   torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be sold— 
   it's not to be found in the marketplace.

Then here's where I leave out the part about "my brothers worry about me". haha.

Walk in song

I decided that my baby knows best.
Yes, she can have her nice walk in song.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
- Lee Ann Womack

Dragon Days

I asked you to write about us.

But instead, I've decided to take a leaf out of Alicia Key's book.

Dragon days and the fire's hot
Like a desert need water
I need you a lot
Dragon days
I need to be saved
I'm missin' you
And the day drags on and on

xoxo.

one piece

Metronomy says:

the fact is that life is boring and mundane. the truth is that, it could be ALOT worse. 

Metronomy says:

God's truth is that, life would be neither good nor bad, but absolutely meaningless without Him. 

[sare] the special word is 'help!' says:

I know what I want now.

Metronomy says:

what do you want? 

[sare] the special word is 'help!' says:

I want to be one of those courageous, ridiculously optimistic, wise, passionate, internally strong people who love all the things about life, every bit, every boring, pointless, exciting, painful bit of it

In the Midst

In the midst of mundane working life and painful personal growth, I have never been happier with my relationship. I love the way he knows what to say even when he feels like he is floundering thinking that he doesn't. He does.

Long weekends are blessed relief. It's like a mini honeymoon. I feel like I want to marry him... everyday.

PROPOSAL

He proposed on February the second, 2009. We had an unforgettable caesar salad at Ecucina, which I am still craving dispite eating caesars 3 times since. 12 roses at King's park, one for each reason he loved me and 3 jars, past, present and future. Then in traditional style, on his knee, he asked me to marry him. and i said yes.

In Love with my best friend

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

-Jason Mraz

A Change

Working life is very different for us, but it also marks the beginning of the very beginning (the saving money bit). I think it was quite a large step for me.. getting used to working, getting used to living in the in betweens.. I find that I'm turning in our parents already, and Dennis is still the same, ever firm, calm, loving. But I thank God and trust Him that He has brought all these things our way, and that we learn and are growing better for it. We're changing as a couple. We're getting used to each other's ways, learning to finish each other's sentences, and still suffering the shyness that people who haven't lived together for 20 years suffer. We will get there- I prefer this novelty of us still being "new". I Love you, you know. I just want you to know.

Living and alive

So many times I'd like to think that we're mature and we know what love is and we've grown. But the truth is that we're still so young and in love. Its young love.

Like a teenager pretending to know it all. We pretend to have known each other for years. But what is 1 year or 2 years?
We're looking at 50 or 60 years of married life. We're like babies, growing at exponential rates. Everyday is amazing to me, everyday a new discovery about us, and everyday more love for you.

To young love.

-

"Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything."
- Billy Graham

I thank God that He keeps us together.