Moving to the groove of good old TLC while the world tributes Michael Jackson's strange genius, poor dear man. It was the day after he died that I finally began to deal with the porous aftermath of my own household. It was great to have such a supportive man beside me, and for us to watch the world go by, turning, mourning, crying, talking, whirling.. while we stood still and he held me and we remembered together the God who made us, and the God who would see us through.
I woke early to go to his house for breakfast- he had promised a very coveted meal of fish-fillets sandwiched in bread. When I got to his house, he had just brushed his teeth, and somewhere between his lips and my neck, we melted, melded. What is home, and where? Two similar questions with not much of an answer. Looking at the mass of Neverland, it seems like Michael Jackson didn't find out either, so we were probably relieved that his passing didn't affect our personal pursuit of such an answer.
The day of indulgent luxury continued with a late lunch at Everyday Sunday (sushi, udon, Karaage, pokka coffee/pearl milk tea, honey puff pastry, egg tart!), and a long walk in the harbour town shops. No bargains spotted, much to our relief. So we made the walk down the usual william street and bought a sumptious but much less naughty tomyum soup dinner. Dennis was dressed up in his best black and cologne with gel in his hair, and I wore my purple dress. I am pleased today that I fit into the beautiful striped top Cheryl teo gave to me. I feel good, even if we ate fatty things today. Not to mention we spent $8 on 1/2 an hour of arcadium!! DDR was so nice! Dennis really tried to cheer me up today.. he knows that I had been feeling quite squashed and today's splurging didn't add up to as much as I suspected! So we had a very good time indeed today, and I even thought of ANOTHER name for our child! Anna-Leah Tng. Or Annalea or Annaleia. Heheheh. I like it!!!
I feel terribly human to accept his love sometimes, because I feel I should be entitled to much less than what I get. Deep down inside, we both stare at this gash in my body and wonder when it will heal. And sometimes, he reaches out to hold me and I cry, because it is like when someone tries to wash a cut you have. But God's timing and decisions are precise and momentous.. I thank Him so much for Dennis.
Sometimes I wonder whether Michael Jackson ever felt that way about Lisa-marie, and whether their love was ever quiet, or peaceful. I wonder whether he was happy in his neverland, which ended up to be well, never. I think perhaps the world is shocked because they have wronged someone and shunned him, then not had the chance to say sorry because they were waiting for him to redeem himself. Thank God he doesn't do that to us.
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