The hot second day of work

It has been hot. I have been having headaches after work and perhaps I am just stressed about starting a new job. Yesterday, I fell asleep at 7pm because I was so tired! So Dennis left and I woke up at 8.30 pm feeling sad, dark and alone. And I was scared. I told myself that this time round, with this job, it is not hard, so I should not be scared. But my over perfectionistic self that wanted everything to go right would not comply, and I was feeling over anxious. I always think I have "something"- like an anxiety problem, but Dennis feels that it is because I am very cautious and aware of workplace dynamics. He sees things in such a good light, and I wanted to talk to him badly because I knew I was not seeing perspective.

To be honest, I felt quite sad that I only got 20+ kids because that's half a full timer's work. One of the reasons I walked from Swan team is because they could only offer me 20 kids as well!! If I had known the amount of change this was going to take, I would certainly have honestly kept my Joondalup job!!!! But I know that God has His time and His ways. I cannot deny that this is His move not mine, and thus He must supply me all I need.

Dennis came back to see me because I woke up, and we walked to G'fun (anyone know what that stands for?!?!?) to eat a sago dessert. I felt better after we talked and everything came into perspective. Things are not good, or bad, they are. And also, God has His plan and time. God has something for me to learn that I can grow from!

Thank you for helping me to remember this.